Expendable Money

Spend your extra money on family experiences instead of closet clutter. Years later, as your grandchildren join your supper table, the discussions will center around fun the family had together. Few future discussions have to do with the ‘stuff’ we bought for the kids.
Do it old school. Ditch the electronics. Everyone will survive.

If you’re really lucky, one of your ‘sweet’ children will bring up an embarrassing portion of that special day.

God Bless your family.

Your Greatest Accomplishment is…

your children. Almost every productive member of society is a product of good parenting, rich or poor. I say ‘almost’ because there are a few adults who had lousy parents. However, they still pay attention to social norms and become great adult.

The Mental School Supply

More important than what’s put in your child’s backpack, is what’s put in your child’s mind.   Each parent must instill in his/her child the insistence of success.  If low proficiency and failure are no options, students raise their personal goals.   No matter how much a parent

There is no surprise that a child whose home insists on success, whose home who puts a priority on education, is more successful than a child who’s given the supplies and and a good luck pat on the back.

DSCN0974

Praising

Praise is most affective when children deserve it. Occasionally praise is necessary when the child needs a word of encouragement.  Praise is counterproductive when it’s given to a child who wants it.

Bad Parenting on Steroids

‘Affluenza’ teen and his mother detained in Mexico’. (FOX, Dec, ’15)  School teachers face this parent on a daily basis.  It’s the wealthy version of bad parenting.

So, when a parent refuses to allow consequences, no matter the socio-economic group,  the problem only gets bigger.

Cell Phone Guilt

Some parents are guilted into buying their pre-teen a cell phone.  Don’t be sucked in.

Here’s the deal. Before teen years, your kid is under your watchful eye, not the cell phone’s location app.   Your attentive parenting generally ‘inspires’ a child to do right.  And if he does wrong, it’s your parenting consequences, which leads to better choices.  This approach is time-tested, but only if you plan to pay attention to your kid.

OH, safety…  yes.  Parents will tell you it’s a safety thing.  Nothing replaces responsible parenting.

As it applies to school, cell phones are a terrible distraction. After all, even I would be more interested in checking my phone rather than listening to the teacher.

So if you still insist on buying a cellphone for Jr., remember.  You still need to parent.  Technology never takes the place of your role in your child’s life. In the classroom, a cellphone will hinder learning.

From my classroom experience, I’ve found, the kids without a cell phone are no less safe than those who have them.

Needs and Wants

A good parent worries about her child’s needs, not about her child’s wants.

Needs and Wants are entirely different.  The kids who have to earn the Wants tend to be more productive adults.

Wise Words from a Young Father

The best quote of July 4th:

“With ALL the world has to offer, with ALL its opportunities, do you REALLY have time to look at a cell phone?”

This quote is from a father with pre-teen boys who, with his wife, provides vast experiences, instead of material things.

 

God bless your family.

Mary

Be the Bad Guy

Today I went to a funeral mass. Why is that important? Well, when the woman’s children eulogized her, they focused on her wonderful parenting. They mentioned how Mom pushed them and demanded their best. The kids remembered that Mom’s motivating ways did not always conjure up good memories. Yet, her no-nonsense parenting style made them upright, successful adults.

Children do not celebrate ineffective parents. Kids celebrate the parent who worked hard enough to be the bad guy, so their kids could be good adults.

Excuses are Detrimental

The effort a child makes is largely based on the message she hears.  When a child knows someone will excuse her, she will not work.

No matter how difficult the task or the situation, the child must be pushed to continue her quest.  She may not achieve the ultimate goal, but by working forward, she will not doubt, achieve more than she first expected.

While you allow your child to wallow in her own self doubt, and frustration, there will be another parent who is making no excuses for his child.  Very shortly your child will be eclipsed by the children who are not excused from hard work.

I continue to watch society explain how someone is downtrodden,  and can’t do better than his lot in life.  Simply put, telling a child he can’t, means he won’t.

For nearly half of my career I taught intelligent kids who experienced limited, academic success. (Yes, that’s possible)   Most of the students initially entered my program defensive, and with low confidence. I could very well have empathized with them. Instead, I allowed no excuses.  I expected every student to not only pass, but they were also going to excel.  And that’s exactly what they did.   Communicating my confidence in their intelligence, made them believers and ultimately, successful students.

No one has confidence in a child, like a parent.  Push your kids toward success.

God bless your family.